I am not sure this will help anyone, but I see this in myself and others, so I put it out there. If it sounds confusing or pretentious, you can happily skip this post, I am just sharing an honest personal view.
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Intense phase
Foiling came along in your life and it is this crazy experience giving you pleasure in different ways, the doing of it, the progression, the immersion (no mind).
After a good session, you feel satisfied, “complete” for a while, it’s a great mood uplifter. -
Decline
After some time, you feel the desire to have another session. Periods without it are hard to go through.
Also, with time and practice hours, the pleasure you get from it tends to decrease. Doing it triggers hedonic adaptation, progression slows down, and immersion happens less and less as you don’t need 100% attention as often.
When you have a “bad” session, you get angry and frustrated, because reality didn’t meet your expectations. -
Clinging
That is where you will think, how can I get more of it? How can I still progress? How can it be more intense? In other words, how can I get more pleasure again?
You can pick up a new sport, the same cycle will happen. -
Introspection
If you look closely, your baseline mood might be slightly negative, feeling a bit unsatisfied, incomplete, something is missing. So you think, I will DO something about it in the world and that will make me feel okay (how crazy is that?).
Pleasure works indeed for a while but as you see, it’s only temporary. -
A way out
The reality is that just being alive is the most peaceful experience there is. You can get a glimpse when the mental chatter stops for a moment.
But there is a cloud of mental suffering on top of it, mostly caused by “I, me, my” thoughts, that can be mistaken for one’s identity. It is the greatest illusion out there.
If you can see your thoughts/emotions, how can you be it? Can you see a tree and be that tree at the same time?
Can you even decide/predict what your next thought is going to be? So how can it be you?
The observer in you, which is actually all you are, is and always will be at peace. -
Freedom
Pleasure in itself is totally fine. Your relationship to it is what causes suffering.
If you can see the illusion and recognize the inherent peace that is already there, you can be at peace on the inside regardless of outside circumstances, you are free to enjoy sessions without a need for it. You will still score, still progress, but your baseline will be peace regardless.
If you are having a “bad” session, it comes down to seeing yourself resisting the situation. If you can see yourself resisting or being angry, you are not it. Letting go there and then, accepting the current reality, frees you from further suffering. You can enjoy whatever is going on.
Those principles apply to a lot of themes in life, it is a really cool thing to explore.
Feel free to share your thoughts on the subject if you can relate (?)